artsyinsanity

Organizing my life in a blog

Category: Uncategorized

Against Us

He doesn’t think so,

But he gets whatever he wants,

He won’t admit it,

He gets everything he wants,

In his eyes all you see,

Is a glazed look that seems to say,

“Why is the world going agains’t me?’,

Baby,

The world is going against us all,

But admit it,

You get whatever you want,

He has seen hard times,

Well so have I,

He seems to try to release himself,

Maybe through the smoke of a cigarette,

False love perhaps,

Me however,

Not the same,

Although I hate to take the blame,

I love the attention,

But i hate the flame,

But somehow,

Together,

We create a new world,

It does not go against us,

It slowly twirls,

The high you put me on,

Is something else,

Shh…

let’s melt

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Spring Break Thoughts

Sometimes I want to think I am smart,

but maybe I am just a good writer,

You are a good writer you must be very smart,

You are very smart,

You must be able to translate your thoughts very well

Sometimes I want to feel free,

And sometimes I wish a restrict boundary upon me

Maybe I should fly,

But I would like someone to tell me to stay

Sometimes I just want to blindly believe,

And sometimes I just want to see

Help me believe or help me to see

Just give me a reason to believe

Sometimes I want to give up,

And I always know to keep going,

I’ll find my way just wait and see,

But until then just help me believe

 

Challenge To NYPD’s Stop-And-Frisk In Federal Court

CBS New York

NEW YORK (CBSNewYork/AP) — A class-action suit challenging the New York Police Department’s stop-and-frisk policy got under way Monday with a lawyer saying that officers have been wrongly stopping tens of thousands of young men based solely on their race.

Darius Charney of the Center for Constitutional Rights said the policy is legal, but the department is doing stops illegally. Changes must be ordered by a federal judge to ensure the department stops wrongly targeting black and Hispanic men, he said.

He called many of the half million annual stops a “frightening and degrading experience” for “thousands if not millions” of New Yorkers over the last decade. He called them “arbitrary, unnecessary and unconstitutional.”

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He promised plaintiffs will show the judge “powerful testimonial and statistical evidence” that New Yorkers are…

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Breakups

I’ve written about “Going On” and “Love” but I really haven’t spoken about what goes in between those two topics: F*cking Breakups.  So you know how to love? So you know how to move on? Well…how do you cope with a break up exactly? I get it, you can just tell yourself that there IS someone better out there for you, or it wasn’t “meant to be” but come on, is that really helping soothe the pain anymore than you would want it to? I will not be the weirdo to tell you to embrace the pain however, I won’t say don’t embrace it. When I was writing about love I mentioned how the person will cause you insanity, hate to say it but the insanity doesn’t stop just because you broke up. Their face, their smile, their laugh, their jokes, their hugs, their kisses, will continue to taunt you until eventually you find someone else’s. EMBRACE THAT. Enjoy the fact that you can even remember all their little quirks, and take pride in the fact that they are most likely still drooling over yours as well. When you try to push yourself to get over someone, all you’re doing is inflicting insanity on yourself- stop that. Embrace it all, because breakups are a part of love and love is totally worth it.

Your friend’s are going to try and tell you how to cope with your breakup, but your friends don’t understand that everyone copes with it differently. You may want to watch chick-flicks all day, or you may want to go to the club and forget what’s his face, for one night. Either way, there will be one night where you are laying in bed with chocolate, bawling your eyes out and thinking you will never feel love for any man/woman again, and that you really have no desire to. You aren’t weird, obsessive, or depressed you are going through a break up. Now, I haven’t experienced a second love yet, but I know it will be f*cking great, and I will handle it with much more sanity.

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…not every relationship is meant to last forever. And sometimes the best thing you can do is takea step back and give yourself a chance to breathe.”

“Things go on a…

“Things go on and sometimes to allow life to go on, you have to allow people to “go on” as well. There will always be suffering and pain in life, but with that suffering and pain comes brighter days and beautiful moments. Sometimes in order to let them in, you have to let go.”

Death

I often think about death. How sweet and cruel it sounds, how close it feels. I wonder….would I be releasing myself from all the pain in the world, and inflicting pain on others? We spend our whole life waiting to die. We know from a very early point in our life that after a short life, we will die and soon be forgotten. So if we spend our whole life waiting for this one thing, why do people fear it? How do we know it is a tragedy? It could very well be a release from all the pain and suffering we may or may not deserve. I do not fear death. I fear where I may go, I fear the pain I may cause on others, but I do not fear death. I am not scared to live and I am not scared to die. I will do both with pride for those who fear them. 

Slip But Do Not Fall

I lose people I love

I feel insecure

I feel alone

I’m not helping anyone?

I am making them worse

I am a burden to the world

what is the point of living?

I am trapped

I am lost

what would it be like to die?

Depression, let’s talk about that. I think almost everyone at some point experiences depression, obviously some more serious than other. If you haven’t experienced it, you have known someone who has and it hurts. What do I do to help? Am I making I worse? Should I seek help? Aren’t these thoughts you would have if someone was going through something like maybe..cancer? Yeah, because depression is a disease just like them all. It kills you, it tires you, it eats you alive.

A person having a major depressive episode usually exhibits a very low mood, which pervades all aspects of life, and an inability to experience pleasure in activities that were formerly enjoyed. Depressed people may be preoccupied with, or ruminate over, thoughts and feelings of worthlessness, inappropriate guilt or regret, helplessness, hopelessness, and self-hatred.[6] In severe cases, depressed people may have symptoms of psychosis. These symptoms include delusions or, less commonly, hallucinations, usually unpleasant.[7] Other symptoms of depression include poor concentration and memory (especially in those with melancholic or psychotic features),[8] withdrawal from social situations and activities, reduced sex drive, and thoughts of death or suicide.Insomnia is common among the depressed. In the typical pattern, a person wakes very early and cannot get back to sleep.[9] Insomnia affects at least 80% of depressed people.[10] Hypersomnia, or oversleeping, can also happen.[9] Some antidepressants may also cause insomnia due to their stimulating effect.[11]

I did not lose my Dad to suicide, I lost my Dad to depression. I lost who my father was before I even actually lost my father. What pains me is that people go through this everyday, people are pushed to the end of their pain. People are so trapped they end their lives because death is the only sense of hope they have left. You know how afraid you are of dying? When you are depressed, you welcome the idea. Now take a minute to think about that. Now take a minute to think about actually being the cause of someones depression. Take a minute for my Dad, for your friend’s friend, for your uncles mom, for that girl you read about who was bullied to death. It happens EVERYDAY people suffocate within themselves from pain.

suicide

1-800-273-8255

Remember this number and save your life, and if not yours someone else’s. Remember for the kids you hear about everyday, but you don’t want to believe. Do not fear it, but change it. Change it for the people who suffer and change it for a better world.

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The Unspoken Topic: Racism

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I am writing about what seems to be an oddly unspoken topic: Racism.

This isn’t about being racist towards white people, towards black people, towards mixed people or anyone in between that. This is the just the brutal truth of racism that is a fragile topic that needs to be addressed. Whether you like it or not, your race has been and always will be incorporated in politics. When you have to fill out an “important” paper, doesn’t it usually ask you to identify your race? That’s because for some reason or another, it’s important. I am writing this not to be awkwardly blunt, but because for some reason all these mass shootings, all these crimes around the world, find a way to make race a determining factor. I am writing this for anyone who constantly feels insecure, or even threatened because of where they come from.

In a cruel world, diversity has come to be a beautiful thing. Maybe my opinion is biased simply because I was raised to love someone not by where they come from, but how they accomplish what they dream of, how they carry themselves, not by how they look. Unfortunately, racism is still around us because again, the world can be a cruel place. It’s almost weird for to be writing about this, because racism has became a very radical and foreign topic for me.

Back to the politics of it all: Your color does not determine the crimes you may or may not commit. Period. This, out of all things is a terrible issue. What the f*ck? I feel a new wrinkle growing in my forehead every time I even think about this. We are all individuals, we all share different traits, different opinions of the world, and different ways of handling situations. So no, I do not think your color is at all a factor in what you do, it’s how you were raised and it’s who you are. Can we not all just come together for once, give each other a fair and equal chance, and say f*ck what color you.

Racism is a refuge for the ignorant. It seeks to divide and to destroy. It is the enemy of freedom, and deserves to be met head-on and stamped out.
Pierre Berton

I Am Adam Lanza’s Mother

I Am Adam Lanza’s Mother

I take no credit in writing this but, it definitely deserves a read.

Is everything going to be okay?

Is everything going to be okay?

I don’t mean right now. I mean my future, I mean my dreams. I mean the relationships that were never healed and the friendships that lost their way. I don’t mean tomorrow, I mean in 5 years from now. What will happen? Will we be okay?

I was talking to my friend, my optimistic best friend. She told me the words everyone should hear “….It goes on” you know, that saying you hate to say but love to hear. It goes on. It really does, am I being obvious? Or am I telling you what you need to hear? I curiously looked up “is everything going to be okay?” and with 295,000,000 results, I decided to write this, for everyone who has every searched that.

We all want to know where we will be in 5 year, but we won’t know until that day comes. All we know is that whatever difficulty we might face, it goes on. Okay, you will be tired of that saying by the end of this, but you know what? GOOD! If you’re tired of it, it means you’re getting my point. I’m not telling you anything you don’t know but: People in this world are cruel. They will literally push you until you are at the end of your pain, and the end of yourself. It’s not right, but as individuals, it’s our job to deal with it. I’m writing this for the people who have been pushed to the edge of their pain, the people who have lost themselves, and the people that don’t see the reason in going on anymore:

it goes on.

it goes on.

it goes on.

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